The ‘Ego’ Quandary: “My ego made me do it.” “How do I get away from the ego and be more present?” “How can I live from a place of higher vibration, in touch with my higher Self?” “Which chakra do I need to cleanse in order to access my Self?”
Understand this. You are not the ego. The ego is yours. It’s yours to play with as you like. Your conscious faculties? They’re yours. Cognition? Yours. Ideation? Yours. Imagination? Yours. Intuition? Mentation? Yours. Emotion? Yours. Yours. Yours. It’s all yours. Who is this you to have earned all of this? Why are you so special amongst all the sentient life in this universe? To have earned this life and been empowered to live it with a supercomputer of a mind and all of these tools at your disposal. Who are You? You. Are. Self.
Self is not yours. It’s not myself and yourself. You ARE Self. All of it. The whole thing. Read that as many times as you need to until it sinks in. Meditate on it. Chant it like a mantra. This is the biggest lesson you can ever hope to learn. The biggest truth. The biggest trap and the biggest hurdle. You’re so close, that you are confusing. You’re looking for a mystical feeling to accompany a realization of that what you already are. This is where everybody gets lost. You are already that!
Stop saying ‘I am not the Self.’ ‘I am lost.’ ‘Where am I?’ ‘I am material’. ‘I must be spiritual’. ‘I must do this or that to attain to the higher level and find Self yada yada’. You are right here. Right now. Reading this. This is the experience of Self. It is so normal that it’s disconcerting. You have been feeding this self lies, looking here and there, when actually, right here, right now, you are free to do what you do and enjoy your experience of life. Stop separating. Stop confusing. Realize right here, right now, that there is only you in this conversation with self. Realize that it’s only these feelings that you willingly attach to that make the whole ball of yarn into something complex.
Self is happy. Self is sad. Self is learning. Self is traumatized. Self is right. Self is wrong. Self must. Self should. It’s amusing, isn’t it? We don’t talk like that. We say I. I’m thinking this. I’m thinking that. I’m watching the thought. I’m watching the watcher watch the thought. I am the ego. I am the body. I am the driver of the ego and the body. But that’s not me!
This is me. Me is free. To make any choice at all. To see or say anything at all. Me is free. Me is free! To do what I does and be as I is. I am free!!! This is me. There is no confusion. It’s all me. Even the background that all this plays out on, in my mind. My beautiful mind. Not to object. Not to question. Not to separate this from that. Why? It’s all I. There’s nothing else there. Really. It’s plain to see. So if I wants to choose one thought over another, I does. If I wants to be here, now, or there, then, I goes. I does. I is and I am. What’s the problem with that? After all, it’s all me. I’m free. With choices. What a happy miracle it is.
Yogic philosophy says that it’s all Self, that the illusion lies in the very questions that separate Self into this and that modality. Yogic philosophy constructs a model of layers, each a part of the one Self, and goes even further to allowing for a connection with and a perception of the background and environment in which Self exists. The illusion lies in the creation, and nurturing, of the thought that you are, or are not, anything but that which is all of that – Self, the generator and preserver of the construct, and the driver of the vehicle on this ever-changing, never-ending path we find ourselves journeying along together.
…is a Saiva Tantrika, Gyana Yogi and founder of Uma Maheshwara Yoga & Ayurveda. David has an MA in Semiotics, lives in Japan with his family and works as a coach in L & D, devoting his time to developing science-based tools and programs that help people reach the fullest potential of the human condition.