Excerpt from Two Idiots & a Man
Vol. I: In Search of the Steel
Ch. 2

In 1984, Swami Vinayagananda visited Japan and gave a discourse at the home of one of his students. What follows is a transcript of the surviving footage.

The video begins. The master, affectionately referred to as Babaji, is young and vital—Burmese black with long, flowing hair and beard and a vibrant aura. Seated in a living room with his disciple Duncan, they greet arrivals as music streams from a cassette player on the coffee table between them. Babaji wears traditional Indian dress: a white wraparound dhoti in place of slacks, an ochre, pajama-like shirt, and a sleeveless, button-down vest made from Kullu wool. He sits quiescently, hands gently folded in his lap, gazing out from behind dark Ray-Ban sunglasses.

“…this is an evening with him,” Duncan says. “So, thank you for coming to see him and to meet him. There will be no translation, so, in the event you speak only Japanese, or your English isn’t catching it, accha, just be here. Alright?”

“Just I can speak a little Japanese, too,” the master offers, introducing himself. “So, I will be pleased to speak that.

“Jya, watakushi wa Vinayagananda desu. Nippon ni kite, makoto ni, yorokonde. So desu ne. Yoroshiku, yoroshiku. Onegai shimasu.”[1] He laughs easily and smiles broadly, his hands open to the people. “This, what I knows.[2] Accha.”[3]

Indicating the video camera filming the event, the master begins the discourse proper.

“Sometime, when the One is on the film,” he begins, “sometimes, there is some time, somebody writing scripts? Somebody good acting? So, all of us what we are playing here is a game—a happy game. Accha. So, to feel the happiness from Him,” he gestures upwards.

The discourse has begun.

“Know Him in you. All the happiness in this world is in you. If you feel happy, you are happy. If you don’t feel happy, it’s you, not He. He gives you always happy. Whenever you are happy, you are feeling your body only. Whenever you are sad, where you are? Just saying, ‘Oh God, what has happened?’ Why are you only thinking, when you are having a pain? By being happiness, you put that happiness into Him, too.

“This, what we are experiencing in this world, is just as a tourist. We are coming; we are going. We are put up into different, different, different ideas, whatever that He desire. If one can understand it, within him [self], he can see the universal creation within him [self]. So, he will have no hurriedness. He will be very happy to see that.

“Say, I am on this seat. Does somebody need the same seat, too? Is it correct? So, want to be there. Try to be there! Don’t make jealousy, to see me on this seat. You try. You try. That’s what I want to say. Try. You try your level best to be with Him, to have His grace.

“So, what we are doing? We are each other running behind something. If one have a big thing, the other is going ‘Aaah, he is having so big one. Hey, I need one more.’ He is running for that only. He is not realizing why he is running so much. For what? When the things, whatever you have, will give you happiness at that present moment only. After that, you will be fed up with this. You want to go away from the situation. Where you want to go? You show me that place where you can go to have a rest. You cannot trace a place to rest in this world, because the boost[4] [is] moving. We are moving very modernly, so, there is no place. There is a place; that’s in you. Stay in you. Be patient. Have His grace. See Him in you. Be happy.

“If any questions, you can ask. Does anybody have a question? You can raise. I may be answering.”

The Iron Liver

“Tell us about how to attain,” Duncan asks. The object is left unspoken, but his hands signal both upwards toward the heavens as well as to his own heart.

“How to attain? I don’t say. Just you have to attain. You cannot do that. How you can do that? Can you do? You tell me. If you have to attain that, you have to kill all your body feelings. Nothing needed. So, I cannot take you to that sannyas[5] idea, to move behind me as a sannyasi. You have to work. So, you work with your body feeling. You must work. That’s what Krishna[6] says. Creation is first. You have to create. Whatever idea you want to create, that is His idea. It’s not you.” He turns to the audience. “So, you have to do. You have to work.[7] You have to get everything. If you need to attain, then have to kill away this body feeling to be a stone or steel. Then only you can attain. Can you be steel?” he asks Duncan.

“No, Baba.”

“Can you be a stone?” Duncan indicates that he cannot.

“Aaah. I can be. In this moment, somebody can throw a bomb; I am okay. No problem. Only I lose this body. I never lose anything. I will be happy. I will be much happy. You cannot do that.

“Aaah. I want to be happy still. Where is happiness? Happiness to attain the Self needs too much. It needs too much. And also, it needs something like an iron liver[8] in you. Having everything—enjoying the world, being happy with material things—or nothing at all. Can you do that idea? You cannot. There also you are putting your body feeling—the physically feeling. Can you do that? No.

“Having everything [means that] whenever somebody comes [saying]: ‘Hello Duncan, your cassette player is good.’ Can you give it quickly to this man? Possibly, no. Aaah. There needs iron liver. Having everything [means] have to give. When a man is enjoying my thing, my thing, [even] a small piece of cloth, too. If he is happy with my cloth, I will be very happy to see this man happy. I am ten times happy. That’s God.

“When He gives many things to people, when they are happy, He feels, ‘Haaaaah, all the guys are happy.’ Bhoh esah Bhagavan.[9] That’s the God. That’s the Lord. That’s the Stone. That’s the Steel. Not knowing anything, unconscious status in man. Being Brahman. That’s the Brahmacharya.[10]. The man who is merged with Brahma, what you can give a name to this man? Tell me. Can you say him to be Brahman? Can you say him to be Vishnu?”

“Bhagawan,” Duncan answers.

The master nods. “That’s Bhagawan. That’s Bhagawan. No background for Bhagawan. Everything is background for him. When one attains the Self, every enemy turns [into] a friend. You have a place in every mind. That was Christ, who had a place for Him[self] in every mind. That was Christ, who gave away himself on the cross for many people. Some say for their own self. So how you can attain the Self? Here come with your answer. I’m asking, too, question.”

“Through love?” Duncan suggests.

“Possibly.” The master eyes his student with a wry grin and chuckles. “The love must be, accha, not expecting anything. You cannot give love [only] sometimes, by your body feeling. If you have no desire, then the love is pure.”

“What about the desire to know myself?” Duncan asks. “To the Self? That’s still a desire.”

“Yes. There is desire,” Babaji agrees. “Desire is your physical body. [In me] there is no desire at all. He is just a witness, seeing you, how you play.

“Somebody can say, ‘I am doing everything inside a room and nobody knows.’ You knows. You knows! You who are doing, know it! Later on one day, you have to realize that, too, what I did inside my room. Is it right?

“Possibly it needs much energy to feel a man to be a God. It’s easy to be a ghost. It is easy to be anything except a God. Attain Self. Know yourself. No these. No those.[11] If you don’t know you, you don’t know anything. Be here,” he says, gesturing to his heart. “Still. That’s the boosting happiness which comes in you. Otherwise, where is happiness? 

“There are many ideas, Duncan. The world is moving towards much more modern ideas. So, the much more modern idea [always] needs much more, [too]. [It is] having much more needings. All the time we need so many things. If we are not in need…” He shrugs his shoulders as his voice trails off.

“You understand now? We need many things. So, we do business. So, I am also here, in the video. Possibly it is my destination? Why He put me into this? I don’t say. I don’t feel. It’s He who want to put me there. Possibly this video can be used against me. [Also] can be used for a good purpose. Both have to be seen in that idea. If it goes on a bad idea, it is bad. Not for me; I am the same man. I don’t feel I have gone; there is no people; I have no kana;[12] I am dying! I don’t feel. So, who am I? Do you think just a man? So strong words! Nothing doing. I have no care. Rain and snow, same for me, as you have seen me.[13] Accha. Anything you need?”

“You mention good and bad,” says Duncan. “How does good and bad work?”

“Good is—feeling His grace in you is always good. Rest of all—all your creations. What is bad in this world? Two hands, saying left, saying right. Good and bad is the same. Same thing, as He exists in every idea. He doesn’t know a bad man. He doesn’t know a good man. As naturally as the Sun in the sky comes up, He is on the heat. He is on a dead body. He is everywhere.”

Babaji suddenly changes tracks, removes his sunglasses, and puts his hands together in anjali mudra.[14] Solemnly bowing his head, he addresses the room.

“I am very glad to see you all. I am very glad to be all with you.”

“Accha, Rajneesh, sir. Hmm. Mr. Raj.” His attention alights on an attendee whom he recognizes as a follower of Osho Rajneesh, before returning to Duncan’s question of the desire to know the Self.

“That’s easily done,” the master continues, returning to Duncan’s earlier question about desire. “If God wants to make an ordinary man, to lift him up, possibly can be lifted. He will give that. That’s called just a tapasya. The man’s tapasya[15] is for that person and purpose. The willpower in the man gives that.

“There are many channels in the body. Some doctors knows, if cut this nervous,[16] [then] this will never work.”

Knowingly pointing upward, he continues, “The Doctor who knows every creation of a man, every channel of a man, He will put on the switch. He can off the switch at any time, hmm? Highest Doctor. The Supreme Doctor. The Big Doctor.

“So, everybody need doctor when we are sick. If we are always healthy, then we do not need a doctor. Is it right? So where, in which idea, we can neglect, or not to have faith in Him?

“You say, ‘how to realize the Self’. So, I explained you. You must be a steel or a stone, then only you can realize the Self.”

The master replaces his Ray-Bans with a sense of finality to the issue.

“To know something needs many things—not to be a burning person. If you burn yourself, it is you, Aaah,” the master exhales, as if guiding his point upon a wind to land in the mind of the listener.

“If another man is having a big bungalow, and having good boost knowledge, and if you burn against this man, it will destruct you only. He is always the same. He is a stone. He don’t know anything. That’s you are burning. Is it right?

“Can I say, ‘Hey, you very bad man!’ What you will do? You will sometimes slap, isn’t it?” He gestures at his own cheek. “So, I must be able to receive a slap here, too, if you feel happy on that idea. The bullshit mouth should not say ‘I am good and he is bad’. Nobody good, nobody bad. Everybody is the same. We are all man. See. Same hand, same leg. Any different instruments or something if they have gifted to you from the God?” he asks the audience. “Anybody have? No. No different.

He, the One who send you here, it is His desire that you to be a Duncan, me to be a Vinayagananda, he to be a Kip, and he to be an Akshara.

“Akshara is Hindi. Sometimes Akshara means the letters. We say like that. Akshara, aksharum [plural].[17] I don’t know.”

Duncan claps mirthfully, laughing as if the master has said something hilarious.

“I don’t know, but aksharum means letters. I am not a big educated man, but little. Even little speaking English. Sometimes it[18] looks to be a funny comedian.

Babaji points upwards for emphasis.

“So, He want me to act like a comedian? I act.

“He does. He does. This Crazy Man doing many things. He is a big crazy man. He want to make everybody crazy. Sometimes He take many people to many good places. Sometime the peoples are taken to some other place, where they don’t want to be. They are sure to be taken. It is His desire to take that one, to that place, to realize in different ideas, when they cannot realize Him.

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[1] Translation.“I am Vinayagananda. I am very happy to come to Japan.” He ends with a formal expression particular to Japanese culture, which might be appropriately understood in this context as meaning “Nice to meet you.”

[2] I have not edited the Swāmī’s grammar, as his sentences are often rich with deeper layers of meaning. His grammar improves dramatically throughout the course of this book, but in the beginning, it may be an acquired taste—one well worth acquiring. Consider before going forward, the ramifications of an intentional use of ‘I’ in the third person.

[3] Ācchā — meaning “good” or “okay,” as in “understood.” It can also be used as a question, like “Do you understand?” (Ācchā?)

[4] The boost, he would later explain to me, is the energy of the heart—a sudden burst of vitality.

[5] Sanyās — a renunciate. In the Hindu tradition, the life of renunciation is the fourth and final stage of a man’s evolution, after which he is absorbed into the universal soul.

[6] A central theme in the Bhagavad Gita is the interplay of action and knowledge. Kṛṣṇa is a central character in the epic story of a man who is duty-bound to fight in a civil war against his own family. In truth, the story is a metaphor for the battle waged within one’s own mind. Kṛṣṇa, an avatāra—or living embodiment—of the One God, plays the role of guide and counsel to Arjuna, the general of the army, and instructs him in the way of life.

[7] In the classical yogic tradition, it is understood that there are two modes of interacting with reality: one active, the other passive. The passive mode is directed inward, toward stillness; the active mode is directed outward, intentionally engaging with life. In this intentional engagement, through the various activities and works that will subsequently create and dissolve the karma surrounding them, there are also what are called upāya, or skillful means of engaging with life. These upāya are divided into four: an intuitive means that knows how to act without much thought; an empowered means that approaches actions energetically; an individual means that uses the physical body first, developing an appreciation for the other means of engagement through the heart-mind and sense fields; and finally, a non-means, wherein one is completely surrendered, aligned, and living quite naturally. Normally, Bābājī advocates for direct engagement with life, simultaneously differentiating the paths of karma yoga and jñāna yoga—action versus insight.

[8] Fortitude, determination, conviction, resilience, discipline, and repose—these are some of the qualities of an iron liver, which might filter the poisons ingested through life’s engagement and transmute them, in the crucible of the heart, into steel in the veins. A steel will, which becomes a pillar of one’s serenity and equilibrium, enabling stillness and silence unto the Philosopher’s Stone. These are just a few of the ingredients needed for the inner alchemy that will ultimately produce real and abiding happiness: true gold.

[9] “That’s Bhagavān” points to the Divine as the all-encompassing, nurturing presence—like Mother Nature herself—who gives selflessly and rejoices in the flourishing of all life. Just as the earth offers its fruits without expectation and holds all beings within its embrace, Bhagavān stands beyond individual identity, where everything else is merely background. This reflects the selfless, boundless love and generosity that arise from realization of the Self, the source of all harmony and joy.

[10] Cross-reference Patanjali’s fourth yama — Brahmācchārya, most often translated as celibacy, but easily misunderstood. A more precise interpretation might be moderation or the right use of energy, implying not expending it indiscriminately. This principle applies not only to sexual impulses but to all compulsions. It is introduced early in Patanjali’s Yoga Sūtras, in Sāmādhi-pāda 1.4–5, where the sage guides us to sense the afflictions that may disturb, or not disturb, the subject-object identification and the ensuing union.

[11] Neti. Neti. — “Neither this one nor that one.” This reference points to the concept of not chasing after any particular idea, but rather staying centered. Thoughts are empty of substance, so we are not to chase after them. This is a method of analytical negation—removing everything that is not God on the way to realizing the Supreme Reality. Of course, it can be argued that there is nothing that is not God, too. However, if this is properly understood beyond the conceptual, then there is no conflict in allowing thoughts to arise from the ground of being, either. All will be as it is, in the right place and at the right time.

[12] Kana (Transl. food). Used here simply to refer to basic nourishment, as part of Bābājī’s list of worldly conditions that no longer trouble him.

[13] Duncan met Bābājī on the grounds of Pāśupatināth Temple in Kathmandu, where the Bābā stayed outside, even in winter, practically naked. Even after he moved to the village on the Indian side of the Himalayas, he continued to stay outside—before his small house was built—in a tent for a while, apparently impervious to the elements.

[14] Anjali mudra — two hands, palms together, in the now practically universal gesture of namaste. In the tradition, these two hands represent Śiva and Śakti, the God and Goddess united as One. The greeting is, too, that of the One to the One. Namaste: the God as me greets the God as you. It is an eternal play of awareness upon a boundless ground of being.

[15] Tapasyā — a practice or austerity—often a disciplined effort to purify body, mind, and heart. In the tradition, this isn’t just self-denial or hardship, but a dedicated inner fire that burns away impressions that veil recognition, awakening the latent freedom within us—svātantrya—divine sovereignty or absolute inner autonomy. Each person’s tapasyā is unique, tailored to their own nature, purpose, and spiritual journey; it is the personal effort required to dissolve their particular obstacles and limitations. Through sustained practice, the individual reconnects with this freedom, allowing the natural upwelling of love and wisdom to arise spontaneously. Thus, tapasyā becomes the bridge between limitation and liberation, where knowledge and the will to act in harmony express the true sovereign nature of the Self.

[16] An interesting turn of phrase, as the channels Bābājī refers to are energetic pathways flowing throughout the entire psychophysical organism, spanning five or six subtle layers of the body, according to Classical Ayurvedic or Tantric models. The energy of the heart-mind moves through these channels and might literally be called nervous energy, since it is precisely the nerves of the physical body that detect this flow and translate it to the brain, where it is identified as synaptic formation or various neurological responses.

[17] Akṣara — Letters. However, there is a deeper implication here for a yogī who is as devoted to Mother Nature as this master is. Mātṛkā are known as the Mothers of Creation. They represent the inherent, indelible sound vibration and resonant frequency, and are thus also known as akṣara, or “imperishable,” because they share the immutable and eternal quality of their source. Mātṛkā, or creative energy, is the source of mantra, and it is concealed within the mantra. When awareness is focused through the medium of mantra, the energy awakens from its slumber. Mātṛkā is the infinite, generative matrix of reality. These imperishable “letters” are not merely sonic—they are archetypal forms suspended in the Akasha (ether), the subtle field that holds both vibration and form. When Bābājī begins to ponder this man’s affiliation with the name, one can be sure that his considerations are not as inconsequential as Duncan might first suspect.

[18] Third-person references to the self should not be overlooked. They are not grammatical errors but intentional, serving as a setup for the subsequent lesson—beginning in the very next paragraph and continuing throughout the discourse—on the Acts of Creation and their Divine Authorship. For further insight, see Kshemarāja’s Recognition Sutras (or Pratyabhijñā Hridayam), which teach the Five Acts as expressions of Divine Consciousness manifesting through embodied existence. These acts symbolically reflect the Cosmic Dancer, Natarāja, also known as Dancing Śiva.

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