How Much Meditation Do I Need to Find Her? What’s the end Goal & When will these symptoms ever end?

Welcome, sincere seeker, to the Real Yoga Blog. You aren’t here by accident! If you’ve felt the tremor in your spine, the shiver in your sleep, the recall to innocence at the root of your being—or even if you’ve only heard the word Kundalini echo in some distant corridor of your soul—then you’ve found your tribe. You are now among fellow pilgrims of a Great Return.

Where’s My Kundalini?

She is not lost! She’s not absent. She is you, in coiled latency.

She’s not a separate being, or a guest in your house—She’s the forgotten mistress of the manor!

Classical texts like the Hatha Yoga Pradipika refer to Kundalini as a latent force of highest potential:

Residing at the base of your spine, wrapped three and a half times like a sleeping serpent around the Svayambhu Linga, the Self-arisen Flame. She churns the ocean of milk, even as She sleeps at the lowest center (muladhara chakra) at the foot of the “tree of life,” the spinal column.

This serpent power, kundalini, cannot be described fully, even by one who has succeeded in awakening it. When She awakens, Her Force shoots through the body like an electric shock, and, trembling and amazed, the person realizes that a powerful event has taken place within. This is only the beginning.

She is the potential of your becoming, waiting for the conditions to unfold Her: love, courage, sincerity, and the fire of inquiry.

“As the serpent power awakens, so too the luminous knowledge that burns away duality.”
— Kularnava Tantra

The Yoni Yantra and the Mūlādhāra Chakra

The doorway is sacred and guarded. The Mūlādhāra, the root, is more than a chakra—it is the throne of Shakti in her coiled form.

The Yoni Yantra—a symbol of the divine feminine creative matrix—reminds us that birth into spirit passes through mystery, rather than mastery.

The yogic path is a courtship! Not a conquest.

The yoni isn’t a gate to be forced—it’s a temple to be loved.

In the Shakti-samgama Tantra, it’s said: “S/he who meditates upon the Yoni as the portal of the Infinite becomes one with Her who births the worlds.”

So, don’t rush the gate. Cleanse the approach. Walk barefoot and bow often. (Refer to Group Guide 1 for a slow and gentle approach to the gate! The Guides are accessed from the group’s header menu just below the main banner image.)

How Long Is Enough to Meditate? How to Usher Her Along?

There is no rule to meditation, but there is a rhythm.

“How long is enough?” isn’t the question. “What is sincere?” is. Ten minutes in truth outweighs hours in distraction.

Some days, she stirs with a single breath. Other days, she waits for the rain of devotion. Let it vary. Let it breathe.

The Shiva Sutras whisper: “Udyamo Bhairavaḥ” (The upwelling is Bhairava—the Siva who is Consciousness)

That sudden surge itself is the Divine! Prepare the vessel. Sit with sincerity. Love the breath. And when silence comes, stay there. That is the real kriya.

“The Mother does not move by force. She moves by invitation.”
— Oral transmission, Aghor Nāth tradition

Real Shadow Work

This path isn’t all light. When Shakti rises, she brings with her the dross—your hidden grief, your unloved parts, your ancestral echoes. The root has to be cleared, not only of trauma, but of illusion. This is the Vishuddhi of the soul. (Vishuddhi is the 5th chakra, the throat, associated with purification.)

Shadow work isn’t just therapy. It’s tapas (disciplined engagement). It’s active alchemy. It is what the Yoga Vasistha calls vichara—fierce inquiry into what is real.

We walk together through these shadowlands with lanterns in hand and courage in our chests. What rises isn’t madness—it’s memory!
And what’s remembered can be reclaimed.

What’s the End Goal? & When Will These Symptoms Ever End?

When the fire of transformation begins, we yearn for the light at the end of a long tunnel. Know from the beginning that the end goal isnt’ perfection. It’s not a bliss-state that floats above the world. The true goal is liberation into intimacy with life itself—to see through the veils of fear, shame, and separation and awaken into what the sages call svatantrya—your own innate freedom, the birthright of Shakti herself (Spanda Karika).

“When the self knows itself as the Self,
even the storm becomes a dance.”
— Vijnana Bhairava Tantra (paraphrased)

It is not about escaping the world, but finally embracing it—with discernment, with power, with creative joy. To discover that you are not the turbulence, but the space in which all arises. And from that space, you begin to live by design, not default. You begin to live not to express yourself, not to fix yourself—to embody your personal vision of joy with skill, clarity, and compassion.

When Will These Symptoms Ever End?

A question that echoes through every dark night of every soul.

Symptoms shift. The burning cools. The waves of fear, the tremors, heat, confusion, and collapse—passes. But not always on your schedule.

This journey is not linear. It’s cyclical, spiral, and sacred.
Each layer that rises needs to be felt, precisely because it is also rising to be liberated. The more we resist it, the longer it stays. The more we lean into it with wise care, the sooner it transforms.

Just as a snake sheds its skin, each “symptom” is a signal: You are expanding. The old cannot contain you.

If you are asking when… perhaps it’s time to ask how.

How can I support my nervous system today?
How can I ground joy into my body even now?
How can I befriend the intelligence of this intensity?
How can I develop insight in my own being?
How can I cultivate awareness and engage skillfully with life?

When these questions lead, you won’t need to chase endings—
you’ll begin to experience the transmutation of suffering into insight, into clarity, into strength. And eventually—you’ll look back and see that every tremor was a teaching. Every symptom, a signal.
Every contraction, the birth pangs of your awakening.

Resources & Support

Gathered on this site are resources—texts, meditations, programs, teachings, and tools—explore them as your heart leads.

And remember: you are never alone on this path. Whether your journey is calm or chaotic, whether the serpent sleeps or strikes—reach out. I’m here for you. This blog is here for you. For 1:1 personalized assistance, reflections, or simply to share what can’t be said aloud, contact me anytime.

Welcome home.

In Her fire, may you remember who you are.